Asters
by glindalovesshoes
Summary: When Daniel reveals to Sam and Jack that unbeknownst to their knowledge they accidentally got married on their latest off world trip, long thought buried feelings break through the surface. S/J


A/N: I'm almost done watching SG-1 and I can't wait to write more S/J fic. Meanwhile I hope you enjoy this one. Please let me know what you think.

Huge thank you to my beta Alex for encouraging me, for making sense of my messy docs and for always being supportive. Huge thanks also to the Lobster Gang who told me to watch SG-1 and A who endures my fangirling and squealing.

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Asters

They didn't find out about it until a couple of nights later, during a get together at O'Malley's. Daniel was having one too many - again - and on the verge of completely embarrassing himself when he tried to challenge Sam and the Colonel to a round of pool. Blindfolded.

"I do not believe it wise to play pool without your eyesight, Daniel Jackson," Teal'c commented solemnly, his eyebrow raised at the ludicrous idea of the earthling. While he considered the moments of Jackson's drunkenness indeed amusing, he was more than troubled at the prospect of his friend poking out someone's eyeball with the cue.

"T's right, Danny. Let's not poke cues around. Besides I think blindfolded or not, Carter's gonna have your ass at pool anyway, right Carter?" Jack grinned at her over the brim of his Guinness. "You'd find a way to hole-in-one the balls, even when you're blindfolded, right?" The second he winked and caught her eye, he knew she must have been actually thinking about a way to accomplish the challenge. Carter blushed, hiding her grin inside her glass.

"Hole -in-one is _golf_, Jack." Daniel rolled his eyes at the misplaced terminus but it was oh-so-obvious the Colonel knew what he was talking about. He was actually good at golf and Jack was just out to get him. Sending him a glare, Daniel drowned the rest of his beer. It was surely going to give him a headache tomorrow.

"I believe O'Neill is well aware of the terminology, Daniel Jackson. He's an excellent golf player and he holds the unbeaten intergalactic record for hole-in-ones." The bitterness was clear in Teal'c voice as he informed the archeologist about the unofficial record. At the mention of _intergalactic_ Carter's head shot up.

"So when did that intergalactic golf tournament happen, Sir?"

Jack smirked, taking a sip of his beer. "Can't tell ya. It's classified."

"Oh come on, Jaaaack!" Daniel whined. "You can't throw around fun facts like this and then expect us to just let it go. If you'd wanted to keep it a secret Teal'c shouldn't have mentioned it in the first place. You'll tell me later in the car, Teal'c, right? We tell each other everything."

The Jaffa raised his eyebrow once again but didn't say anything. Instead, he picked up one of the cheesy nachos from the bowl in front of them and savored its taste, but Daniel wouldn't drop the subject.

"Come on, you know I won't tell Jack you told me. T… You owe me, I even told you that Sam and Jack got married on P3X-059."

Sam dropped the peanut she'd been popping into her mouth in the same second Jack spit half the gulp of beer he'd been drinking across the table onto the archeologist. Daniel made a disgusted noise as he wiped the splatters off his glasses.

"We're what?!" Jack coughed, his eyes shooting from Carter (who looked just as shocked) back toward Daniel.

"What?" Daniel slurred innocently but he knew exactly he'd been busted. Stupid, stupid alcohol.

"What did you mean, Daniel?" Sam asked quietly, trying hard to reconstruct the events of P3X-059 in her mind while her heart kept doing backflips. Had he really just said she and Jack were… _married_?

"Uuuuuuh… Remember that celebration in the evening?" The Major and the Colonel nodded carefully. "And how you kept stealing bits from Sam's plate and drank the juice from her cup?" Once again, a nod followed. "And when in the end you helped her up because her leg fell asleep and the little girl made a circle with the white flower petals around you?"

"_Daniel!"_ Jack mumbled dangerously. His eyes shot back to Carter who had them focused on the bowl of peanuts in front of her. Her face was flushed and she was shifting uncomfortably in her seat.

"Well that was like an informal marital ceremony. Sharing food and drink at the celebration where the whole village is present, then helping each other up and standing together in the as they call it, 'ring-of-purity'… In my defense I only found out what it meant after Maya asked me why you two didn't share a tent in the morning to… you know?"

The table was quiet. Teal'c's eyes wandered over to the nachos but he believed it not a strategic move to keep eating while O'Neill seemed this close to jumping Daniel Jackson and beating him up properly. Major Carter seemed rather quiet on the subject, which he found greatly disturbing. Sometimes the behavior and emotions of his Tau'ri friend did not make sense to him. Was it not the interest of both O'Neill and Major Carter to pursue the suppressed feelings for each other at one point? Was this not a step into the right direction?

"I do not believe the marital ceremony on P3X-059 to be interfering with the regulations on earth. Since neither you nor Major Carter consented to the vows…"

"There were no _vows_, T! We just shared some damn food!" O'Neill interrupted him.

"Sir." It was the first time Sam spoke since Daniel's revelation, drawing Jack's attention upon her. She seemed nervous as if she was looking for the right words to say, which was so not like her. She always knew what to say and do, she was _Carter_ for crying out loud.

"Sir, I think Teal'c is right. We - uh… As we were not aware of what was happening and the ceremony has no valid ground here on earth, we… we can leave it on P3X-059 if you want."

_We can leave it in the room."_ Was what she had wanted to say, he just knew it and the pang of loss and longing in his chest was there again, just as fresh as a few weeks ago when they'd agreed on leaving _it_ in the room. Just like the last time, she was giving him a way out. Not the one he'd preferred or wanted because it was up to _her_, it would always be up to _her_ but it was an 'out' nevertheless.

They'd not exchanged vows, they'd not exchanged rings or even a _kiss_, so who cared that for some crazy folks on P3X-yadda-yadda that sharing a plate of food counted as a marital ceremony. To prove his point, Jack took a handful of her peanuts and popped them into his mouth all at once.

"Sure, Carter. Let's leave it in the room." _Again_.

Sam swallowed visibly and pushed her chair back carefully, excusing herself from the round as it was late and she was tired, and she had a briefing with the science department in the morning.

"Whoops. First marriage crisis it seems," Daniel muttered.

"Just shut up, Danny." Jack took Daniel's glass and emptied it on the archeologist's head before he grabbed his jacket and left the bar.

"I do not believe it was wise to tell O'Neill and Major Carter about the marital ceremony."

"Well you don't say!" Daniel groaned as he was trying to wipe away the beer from his head and face with a napkin.

SGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGC

She was just about to get into her car when she heard his voice yell a more or less desperate "Carter!" across the parking lot. It would be best to just ignore it, to get into her car and drive home, taking the weekend to come to terms with that bit of information Daniel had just shared with them and then close it in that stupid room inside her heart where everything was just about _him_. It would be best to pretend it hadn't happened, to come back to the SGC Monday morning and go through the gate like nothing happened. Would be.

"Carter, wait!" But she'd hesitated too long and now he was close and driving off would be considered just rude right now. Instead, she closed the car's door again and turned toward him, thankful for the darkness of the parking lot surrounding them.

"Sir?" Jack came to a halt, not even a tiny bit out of breath. He was staring at her, she couldn't really see his eyes, but she knew he was staring. The staring wasn't the problem, it never had been. They were good at longing glances and stares whenever the other one thought they weren't paying attention. There was something so thrilling about being able to study him to her heart's content, to look and really appreciate just how handsome he was, and to wonder if he ever looked at her in the same way. Their real problem was the _talking_, even more so, how to start the talking because there were rules about how the game was played. The thing was, the rules had just been changed.

Sam was waiting for him to speak. He'd been the one to come after her after all, even though he didn't have to. Tick-tock, the clock was ticking but neither of them were able to say what needed to be said, what should have been said a long, long time ago. She knew he wasn't good with words, had always been more of an actions kind of man which frankly she didn't mind at all. Right now though, she did.

He took a step forward, his hand reaching out before it fell back against his side, hesitating. Sam wasn't sure what to do, how to act or react because they were not on safe ground here. They were not wearing their BDU's which reminded them of their ranks and duties, not in the SGC where there were cameras and colleagues and superior officers all around, they were not off-world under the watchful eyes of Daniel and Teal'c. They were standing here in a damn parking lot in the darkness, in civilian clothes, having just been told they'd been married off-world.

Maybe Daniel was right, maybe it didn't mean anything here on Earth. They didn't even realize it had happened until Daniel had pointed it out. It didn't diminish the way she felt about it though. Because their time on that planet had been a good one, she'd enjoyed him stealing food off her plate while his hand brushed down her back. Sam had loved to sit next to him, closer than usual, as they shared their drinks. If she'd ever had a wedding this was what she would have wanted. A good time with friends, food, drinks, laughter, little touches, smiles and a little girl spreading flower petals around them. Thinking about it now in retrospect, it had been a perfect wedding. It just wasn't supposed to be.

She couldn't stop the little sniffle that escaped her as she thought about everything that could never be. God, this was embarrassing. Crying in front of her superior officer…

"Carter… Sam." Shit. Leave it up to him to make it even worse. "C'mere."

She didn't move, left it up to him to step forward and pull her into one of his infamously comforting embraces. Sam was pretty sure that was all he'd be able to give her right now but she accepted it, buried her face against his shoulder as her tears seeped into his oversized shirt.

His breath was hot against her ear as he pressed her against his chest. Under the cover of darkness it was just the invisible barrier of rank and regulations standing in their way, preventing them from taking this even further. She didn't need him to say anything, knew nothing could be said to make it right or better, knew their work and the safety of Earth had to come first no matter what.

"I'm sorry," Jack whispered barely audible and why, why did he have to say that when none of this was his fault? What did he even mean? _I'm sorry Daniel just blurted it out? I'm sorry we had to leave it in the room once again? I'm sorry it happened in the first place? I'm sorry I can't be who you want me to be?_

She should be stronger than this because she'd been the one to leave it in the room once again against her better judgment. All this situation showed her was that she wasn't over it, never would be… and neither would he. Now there was the knowledge that on one of the gazillion planets in the universe they were bonded forever whereas here on Earth, their home, they never could be.

"I…" She choked, but her voice was failing her. There were no words to express what she was feeling without breaking the rules of the game they'd so carefully constructed, but right now she wasn't even sure which move would be the right one. There was nothing that could be said or done.

"I know." Except for that maybe, because she believed him. Jack didn't need her to confess her feelings and she didn't need to hear it from him. They knew. Even after all this time nothing had changed what they felt for each other.

"How it happened doesn't make it any less real." He squeezed her one last time before he let go, his hands wandering up to her cheeks to wipe away the tears.

Sam closed her eyes, reveling in the soft touch and warmth of his large hands against her skin. For a moment she wondered if he was going to kiss her, but she should have known better. Even under the cover of darkness this would take it one step too far and then there would be no going back.

Jack sighed, finally letting her go. He looked at her for another moment, trying to say with his eyes what couldn't be said through words.

"I should go home," she mumbled and he just nodded, leaving her to her car and watching her drive off with the piece of his heart that would forever belong to her.

SGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGCSGC

It was exactly a month later after their trip to P3X-059 when Sam arrived at the SGC in the morning and headed straight toward her lab from the elevator. She'd get dressed in a second, but there was just so much stuff she had to drop off first before she could change into her BDU's and get some coffee and a croissant at the commissary.

She swiped her key card through the lock and pushed the door open, stopping dead in her tracks when she spies the beautiful little bouquet of colorful wild flowers on her desk. What the…?! Carefully, she dropped her laptop and several folders onto her desk, picking up the little note which was hastily scribbled onto a white piece of paper.

_Happy One Month Anniversary_

A giggle escaped her as she read the note again and tucked it carefully into her calendar where it was safe from prying eyes. She wouldn't ask him about it because he'd pretend to be oblivious like he always did, but she knew they were his way of telling her that indeed how it happened didn't matter. It was real somewhere in this galaxy and maybe, one day it would be real in this part of the galaxy as well.

When Daniel dropped by her lab later that day, not at all surprised about the bouquet on her desk, he randomly informed her that the flowers of her bouquet - asters - symbolize love, trust and patience.

Patience.

It was a promise, the renewed promise of _one day_. She'd waited so long, Sam decided, she could wait a little longer. For him. For them.


End file.
